The word of God says in Jeremiah that God formed us in our mother’s womb, He knew us and He knew the plans He had for us.
Although I was raised in an unbelieving household, for as long as I can remember, my hearts desire was to travel the world and help people. As a middle school student I remember watching the nightly news, seeing images of conflict and war between Israel and the Palestinians and breaking down in tears. Overcome with emotion as I heard reports of war and genocide amongst the nations; desiring to do something to help. Those desires remained and led me to become a nurse. I thought to myself, maybe someday I could join the Peace Corps, arrive on scene and do my part to save the world. I was determined to be physically present in the nations I watched on the news and to intimately know the people groups I read about.
Once I started nursing school it became obvious that I would need a higher power to see me through. So I joined the Nurses Christian Fellowship on campus; attended weekly bible studies and developed a friendship with a born again believer who attended First New Testament Church. She knew my heart and passion to serve. And despite me being an unbeliever she took a risk and invited me to join an FNT mission trip to the Dominican Republic in the summer of 2006. I had previously gone on a medical mission trip to Mexico with the nursing school, but this time things were different: I was surrounded by believers who radiated Christ, preached Christ, and lived Christ. I attended nightly crusades and pondered the messages given that one must be born again to enter the kingdom of heaven. Even though I found fulfillment in helping people and performing good works a conflict raged within my soul. I realized this mission team possessed something I lacked. And although my personal life overflowed with every material thing I desired, my heart was still empty and unsatisfied. For the first time in life I couldn’t hide behind the excess of my material possessions. It was evident that these things had no value when compared to Christ. I endured the week with great turmoil, because at times I felt out of place, misunderstood, and frustrated. So, I looked forward to going home and resuming my normal life. But, at the end of the trip as I began my journey home what I thought would bring me great relief rather brought greater conflict. As I sat on the plane for my return flight a war began to rage for my soul. I became exhausted as I struggled with the Lord. I argued that I would continue to travel the world and be a good person. And concluded that I would simply be a humanitarian, but the born again stuff wasn’t for me. In the same breath I was overcome with emptiness and a heart unfulfilled. I didn’t want to surrender, I didn’t know how. But as I sat on that plane preparing for take off the Lord spoke to me very clearly and tenderly. He said, “I know the desires of your heart. I know the desires you have to travel the world and help people. I know those desires because I put them there. And, you’re going to do all of those things. You’re going to go to the nations. But you’re not going to be a humanitarian. You’re going to do it in my name. You’re going to go with me and you’re going to do it for my glory.” As I fought back tears, I surrendered!
Upon my return home I began to attend FNT. As I began to grow in the Lord and His word my passion and desire to take His light into the nations grew. He began to put nations and people groups in my heart. Despite being called to closed countries, dangerous countries, and countries I was told were not safe for young single women to travel He began to open doors for me to go. Through His orchestrating and divine appointments I’ve been able to fellowship with the persecuted church, share Christ with unreached people groups, and worship with the underground church.
I realize that the call to missions was very personal for me. My salvation came through missions and my purpose is missions. But despite missions being such an intimate part of my walk with Jesus and my testimony I’ve always believed that missions is a call to all believers. We are called to be ambassadors wherever we are. As I obeyed the Lord and followed His leadings I’ve been overcome with the joy of knowing what I am created for and living in that. It’s been an honor to labor for Jesus.
FNT has encouraged me and supported me throughout my journey. They have never discouraged me from pursuing the Lord’s leadings. I can recall Pastor Lee always supporting me in whatever I felt called to do, wherever I felt led to go and lifting me up in prayer. There were times when he travelled for a pastor’s conference or minister’s event and when I told him I felt led to go he always allowed me to tag along and never closed a door to me.
The mission field has always been my comfort zone. I’ve always felt at home in foreign lands amongst diverse tribes and tongues. But at this time the Lord is teaching me to be a light in Jerusalem. Jerusalem has never been my comfort zone and it’s the place I’ve experienced much failure. But as the seasons of life change, it’s been encouraging to see the Lord raise up laborers to go into nations that are difficult and dangerous. It’s motivating to watch others be moved out of comfort zones and minister to people whom the world would label terrorists, outcasts, and beyond hope. The Lord is faithful to call and equip. He says that one day people from every nation, tribe, and tongue will worship at His throne. He desires all to come to a saving knowledge of Christ. And, we as the church can experience the joy in being a part of that.
- Shana Matharu